A strange wrinkle in Brokeback Grove

Where *do* we start?! it's come to our attention that chaos rules the galaxy. But apparently not so for Prof. Chaos, who was put down by too much order. And who is now scheming to overthrow the BCC judiciary. Let's step back for a moment and clear the fog of entropy. To assist in our post-game analysis, we, your friendly neighborhood commentators (minus SuperSlut) sit with our cups of warm chai at the Church of Chai with resident Statistical Analysis Expert Everybody's Bitch Swanson. We ponder the nuances of the turmoil that caused Prof. Chaos' latest foiled plans for BCC domination and ask just what kind of idiots hire these judges at the BCC anyway?!

Ok, down to brass tacks.

EBSwanson claims that if we consider the pitch as a Newtonian system, the balls are just point-particles, and their vectorial coordinates must be represented by their Centers of Mass. Therefore a ball is through the wicket if its CoM is (through the wicket, that is). Prof. Chaos' stroke was, therefore, firm. And everything in the universe was, therefore, true. Except for ShowerMan, who objects to basic laws of Newtonian dynamics.

However to be fair, we must also consider the event that conspired at wicket #5 in light of the Schroedinger equation. Erudite participants (t least those with rudimentary physics know-how) will recall that observation is useless when considering quantum phenomena, so we'll tell you what *really* happened. In the world of quantum mechanics the rules say that point particles are wiley and will be waves when you aren't looking, and then collapse back to a point when you check. Much like Ninjas will do. And like Ninjas, they perform such feats at lightning speed. Everyone knows that humans can only take in 24 frames of visual information per second (BCC participants have been known to take in 32, but that's without the excitement of the course so it's unclear if that's even possible really). In the nano-second between the neurotransmissions of nearly everyone present, the ball turned into a wave which then collapsed into a pile of particles to the rear of the wicket, and then turned back into a wave and then back into a ball of usual dimensions. Indeed the ball never even crossed the threashold of the wicket. No one saw this statistically unlikely cosmic event, save the eagle-sharp eyes of Showerman. Thank goodness for super-powers such as flawless observation of Planck-scale phenomena (obviously due to his incessant counting of shower micro-particles), otherwise the  old-fashioned physicists in the crowd would've ruled the Professor's sneaky manuever as a-o-k.

Therefore, Professor Chaos was correct while simultaneously being incorrect. And so goes the duality of the universe. As Capt. Glass-Half-Full would say: "The glass is mostly half full, but also half empty some of the time, but rarely in this case". Bottoms up? Better luck with the chaos next time Butters.

Now on to the real commentary - we MUST give you the low-down on SuperSlut, G-Spot, The Flame and, most importantly, The Black Bone (which he insists is The Punisher) - stay tuned.