Pre-Tournament Player Analysis

(click on match up you would like to view)

Hillary Swanson vs. Dale Stephens

Essentially, what we have here is a match made in heaven. A ball buster/basher at heart, Hillary Swanson, who recently came into her own last tourney and realized the beauty of this sport, will undoubtedly go for the throat when push comes to shove. She'll take no prisoners this time and I expect to see some serious sweat coming off the other players when this gal steps on the court.
Dale Stephens (whooooaaaa): many fear to tread water near this guy. He's the reason Ryder trucks were invented - to get the hell out of town fast when 'you's in trouble'! Anyway, head to head, if these two sharks meet up in a prelim round or heavy weight bout/semi final match look out! 'Cause sparks will fly! My pick for this match up is ... whoever manages to beat the living crap out of the other person's ball first. I'm gonna say Dale, just going by his track record.

Allison Honeycutt vs. Eric Rusch

Now here's an interesting duo. Allison, who we know is not afraid to play roulette with the leader of any particular round, will likely play conservative if these two face off. However, if the mood strikes her, which it does more often than not, one would be best advised to not tease the animal. Remember when our parents told us that, and we'd just keep reaming the hell out of the fur ball to try and provoke a response anyway?! She can play the game as good as any, so ream if you dare! Erik, on the same note, put on enough of a show last tournament to prove again why "The good only get better". With one jacket warming victory, it may be a cozy winter for this fella! Head to head if he can last through some heavy pursuit, he will probably come out smelling spring Tide fresh!

Joe Moschak vs. Jonii Raman

Man, if there was ever a battle to go up against the crazed war scene in 'The Two Towers--Lord of the Rings', this is it! We've easily seen what happens when you match these two players up. Entertaining is hardly the word. How many times can a player be beaten into submission and come back for a second serving? I don't know, cause I'm still counting. This man is resilient to say the least and Jonii can dish it out, so what happens if they meet again? I'm gonna say 'I don't know', and leave it open to chance. I think the fans would love another helping though!

Reeder vs. Goj

Oooowww! Can you say "Crouching Tiger-Hidden Dragon", 'cause I like the possibility of seeing these two guys play in the same round. Reeder, has always played a very graceful, manicured style of game. Smooth zen strokes with grass-hopper sharp mind. This guy can play with whatever is happening on the court. Goj is what I like to call "the Flaming Dragon", and it's no coincidence that Court B is named in a similar vein. Who else could wear those "burnin' pants of hunking love" and romance a grassy field so treacherous as the Dragon cour ... he's your answer. Putting these two up against each other could put the Eastern practice to the test ... we'll see.

Stacy Dalton vs. Johan Svenson

Well!!! Can I have this dance, Madam?....What would become of this pair in a mallet to mallet knock a la' knock contest? I'll tell ya what, a head strong bull fight in the Spanish coliseum. We are looking at two magnificent players who have not received their due pay...yet. Johan, who I've mention in 'The Jacket must find its next Master' portion, is in his croquet prime! Mastermind of gamery, this dude should not be taken with appetizers, as he is meal enough as is! Stacy, who we've seen hang her club low by the waist side over the last 2 tournaments is due for revenge. She knows how close the Jacket was within her grasp last time. The only thing that stood between her and the Finals was divine intervention and Hans' miraculous come back. Some things are better left stewing in the pot for flavor and this would be one of them. If these two Jedis meet in a round or two I sense a strong burst of under-current developing as the game proceeds. This is not your 'Fancy Feast of Gladiators' that ravage and rage about, but rather a long witted duo of wills with pure 'skill' in the truest sense of the word. Look for a chess match with a side saddle of weapons to chose from. Who would rise to the occation? As Yoda said to Luke in his solitude training....'The Future hhmmm, difficult to predict'.

Hibbsy vs. Navarette

Philosophers have long pondered who tugged harder at the thong strings: Myers' Austin Powers or Banderas' Zorro. Here at the BCC we leave such questions to be answered decisively by wood and ball. It all comes down to this: can Rob "Yeah Baby" Hibbs with his Canadian cool out-mallet David "Not Antonio Banderas" Navarette and his Latin heat? You may be tempted to leave this one for the ladies to decide, and maybe that's the way things will fall out. But coiffed hair, cool threads and attention to the lovelies only goes so far on this vicious pitch. Hibbs, who has put on quite a show of whackery, coming out from behind to win in past games, has never had to go up against the Latin firebrand that we know lurks deep within the Navarette psyche. Will the ices of the great white north squelch the flames of the south, or is Dave going to turn up the heat and turn Rob into a limpid pool of sweat? These guys are going for more than just jackets and ties - it's about whose hairgel reigns supreme! We're going to have to watch this pair closely to determine whose wood handling and ball play comes out on top.

Christina England vs. Lila Wallace

"Hey Yogi, what do you have there? Well Boo-boo, I think I got us a pic-ki-nic basket with some scrumptious, yummy, fluffy treats." Scrumptious, yummy, fluffy treats....Yeah that about sums this match up. Two lovely ladies, an appetite for victory, and a twinkle in the eye. Don't be fooled by these 2 honey's. Lila "Dee-Lite" Wallace, although many may be unaware, has a jacket victory. You see, back in the day before their ever was a BCC, there was the BHH (Bush-Hibbs-Hall). These swanky pinsters hosted what might be known as 'The Big 3'. Three tournaments, three chances, three times. The short but sweet life of this trio has given new life to the sport and what is now the BCC. So you see, Lila claimed 1 of the 3 victories and could tell you some intimate details of what the jacket (green plaid back then) was like.
But getting back to the subject, this girl knows no boundries when it comes to court play. Contestants beware: "You're all fair game". Not to stack the cards against her, just realize this beauty has a way with swinging. Now Christina England, my my my, with a name like that she was born to play this game people. A little adjustment in her game last tournament has given her the sort of octane to rip a scweeler and leave tread marks on any course. Although it wasn't the brightest of tournaments for her, she still intends to make this one her own. Head to head on this one, you may end up with a cat fight in the alley. Lila's tenacious ease and feather weight touch could out smart any player who's standing around with their thumbs in their pants. And Christina has only yet begun to realize the deep dark ways in which the mallet flows. You might as well roll the dice on this one!

Sundar Raman vs. Erik Vigmostad

Socrates may have once asked himself, 'Elvis or Hanuman'? What the crap are you talking about, you might ask? Well, how about the classic stance of a relaxed and well positioned Sundar Raman in mid-stroke. Yeah it's true, this guy has way of making you love that stance. Anyway, similar to the Stacy/Johan match-up, this potential-theoretical pairing off of brain hashing could open up a hefty crack in the grassy playground at Baba's. Sundar, who I believe has gained a little confidence in his last match vs Rusch, will most likely choose his croquet's in the future more carefully. Or just bomb the general area providing his club is swung with more 'umphity- umphity'. Over all, this player's ripening time is just about ready for pickin'. If he chooses to play on Saturday I think you may see this clever slapster in the finals. Mr. Viggy, who I'm told will be bringing a guest or party of 2, should open a few eyes out there. I'm not sure he'll be raising a trophy or wearing one of the precious pretties by the end, but I believe you'll see a unique and evolving unorthodox style develop in this man's game as he matures over this tournament. His head strong, engineering animalism could come out if provoked. But will Sundar take the plunge and test the water.........I hope so! Matching them up club to club, I see Sundar reaching the home stake first, but only by a whisker.

Denyce Rusch vs. Shana Cordon

It's what I like to call a 'Roll up your sleeves and pants and get ready to rumble' type of match. Denyce, although she may deny it with every bone in her body, is quite a difficult and intransigent player when it comes to getting the job done. This no nonsense attitude with a twist of sassy has put her in the running over the last two tourney's. You may remember just how close she came to advance to the finals. We're talking waffer thin mints man! And let's not forget Shana 'knock ya down' Corden. Had Jonii and Allison succeeded in their attack on Joe Moschak, Shana may have strolled off to the Finals...footloose and fancy free. But you see folks it takes a special type of determination to claw your way to the 'big time', and I like what I see in these players. Wood on wood cracking, I believe Denyce would have a slight edge in cruising her way to the end stake. But then again, we still have yet to see what sort of mud-slinging capabilities Shana can muster up. Slight edge goes to Denyce.

Troy Hankonen vs. Heather/Gilberto

What a mine field we have here! Hankonen(my cousin by the way), I can tell you from experience, is an explosive power-house of excitement to watch. Similar to our current champ Hans Olsen, Troy, (who carries a full tank on the emotional gas gauge) holds a cannister of lighting fluid in his back pocket (with a 'Bic lighter" of course) ready for the unpredictible. I like the fact that we have some fresh blood on the court ready to inject opponents with an electric cattle prod if necessary. "Move you crazy bastards"(in a good way), he'll let you know in a jovial fashion which side of the bread is buttered. I expect this will reflect in his croquet strokes (colorful to say the least). Heather/Gilberto, oh my!!! Off to a rough start last tournament, this team struggled with the course needing CPR-cardiac assistance and a triple martini to clear some wickets, however I do believe their worst times of frustration and angst are behind them. Renewed with a 10 gallon barrel of Lemon-Lime Gatorade and an insatiable appetite for some purple duds, I expect some renewed 'Caffine-injected-Shakti' from this dynamic duo. Going head to head, I think if Heather/Gilberto are willing to roll some dice on the craps table, they may surprisingly see some rewards for their bold attempt. But don't dismiss the talents of Hankonen and his loaded club of madness, for I have a good feeling he may be fully capable of some fine smashing of the other players rolli-polli's.

Anna Przybylski & Christine Schrum vs. Rushad Vevaina

Rumors of leopard skin tights and black lace have been heard about the deadly duo of Anna and Christine Schrum. They may not have heard the rumors, and we may have just started them, but nevertheless it's the sort of gossip that could get our asses kicked. If these gals are out to whoop ass they'd better tune in to the other rumors: regarding the metrosexual guile of Mr. Rushad Vevaina, gracing the BCC pitches from Chicago. The wiley play of the babe team may just have met its match in this guy. Rushad "International Man of Mystery" Vevaina plans on swinging mallet for the first time at the BCC, but this is not his first visit. He popped in for a few during Tourney #1, seemingly to size up the competition, take notes on the local achilles' heels, and not give up any of his strategy one bit. We'd normally congratulate him on such nefarious tactics, except for his potentially strategic miscalculation of discounting competition from other metropolitan visitors. Anna "Come to Mama" Przybylski is bringing her own secret plans of jacket domination from Minneapolis, famously home to the only other purple jacket worth mentioning. You'd think this would be advantage enough, but Anna's not taking any chances. Partnering with local Christine Schrum, who's got the inside track on this town's soft marbles, Anna's positioning herself to do a lot of damage. Ultimately it's going to boil down to whether the metrosexual charms of the tall, dark mystery man can come out on top of the coy ball-play of the midwestern hottie pair. This is a match-up we commentators plan on being glued to, and can only recommend fans do the same.

Veronica Proksch vs. Daphne Ellison

Our final match up consists of two new-comers to the BCC. Veroncia Proksch, a stunningly captivating siren of serenity and Daphne Ellison, the inamorata of mystery. Both are an estranged breed of vixen to the well acquainted riff-raff of this tournament which could leave many curious onlookers in a slaphappy frenzy. What are we to make of this pair of ginzo greenhorns? Have no fear my friends, let me "es'plain". First, Veronica has, in my humble opinion the gift of necromancy or maybe magic we'll say. She could weave a sultry spell over this game and her opponents just from her smile alone, but does she have the authentic bucking bronco skills of a true croquet buff? This will be her test! Cause as we all know, if you're gonna play the BCC.......you better remember to bring the 'Arm and Hammer' with ya! This is ain't no cake walk on Sunday Poochie Poo! Daphne Ellison, who I think has a juicy game stradegy stacked away deep in the lunch pale of her mind, may come to enjoy the lashing and whippery of this tourney. Innocent in her demeanor, she may be timid at first but I think once she gets her sights set on the bull's-eye and the taste for fresh killing we could have ourselves a serious cook out! Measuring up these two chi-chi's, with trance vs. skirmish, I'd say that spells can only go so far in Baba's botanical hothouse. You'd better stick with the muscle baby! Much speculation has been spewed from the nostrils of Sundar Raman and Rob Hibbs in this pre-game analysis. Take it with a grain of salt and a side of mustard, let the games begin!