A Glistening Well Trimmed Patch

As alert ball-bashers may be aware, the much ballyhooed Tiki-themed croquet-off was abruptly detoured by bad weather, lack of interest and general laziness. Much to the dismay of the lovely Ms. Dalton, we must say, but she's pulling through like the trooper that she is.

That said, avid croquet fans have hounded us for weeks, leaving us nasty phone messages, sending us provocative emails and leaving stale dhal on our doorsteps to shame us into pulling together a tourney before winter starts nipping at our backsides. Obviously none of that is true, but our attempts at self-aggrandizement knows no bounds. Besides, what we'd really like to know is why the hell we don't get that kind of attention anyway?! Have we not slaved and sweated and bled for you? No? Well then!

In lieu of the Tiki party that was not, Baba himself has put out the call for the opening tournement of the year. As always, it's going to be held at the carefully manicured greens of Larch Avenue. And as always, entry is on a first-response basis. The evites should be going out any time now, and responses will be eagerly anticipated by the presiding loons.

Now, rabid spectators will be salivating for the customary matchups that we've been fantasizing over - with threats of a spanking if we don't deliver. The reality is that I've really been looking forward to a good spanking, but we must sacrifice for the greater good and light up the lineup.

Stay tuned - the creative juices are just beginning to flow.